Sunday, July 4, 2010

Are my prescriptions ready?

Phone rings

"May I help you"
"Yes, I am calling to see if my prescriptions are ready"
"What is your name?"
"FirstName LastName"
"Let me check..."

types Lastname only into computer

"Yes sir, we have them ready to be picked up"
"Which ones were they?"
"lisinopril, hydrochlorothiazide, and viagra"
"WHAT, why did the DR call in me a prescription for viagra?"
"I don't know, but just because he called it in doesn't mean you have to pick it up"

conversations continues...
Conversation ends

Oh that viagra was for Mr. SimilarFirstName SameLastName
OOPS!

What do you have for Diarrhea?

Please take the fiber supplement out of your cart.

I need to get my Ambien refilled

"May I help you?"
Customer sets energy drink down on counter

"Yes I need to get my Ambien filled"

You are going to have to get the antibiotic

The Dr. wrote you a prescription for two medications, a pain pill and an antibiotic.
You say you only want one of them.
Hmmm....I wonder which one you are trying to get.

Adverse Effects

One drug's adverse effect, is another drug's indication.

Where does premarin come from?

Premarin is isolated from Pregnant Mares' Urine.

Can I have a turtle?

"Can I have a turtle?"

"No"

"Why can't I have a turtle?"

"Because turtles have salmonella"

"What is salmonella?"

"Go to pharmacy school and I'll tell you all about it"

vancomycin

Vancomycin is NOT an aminoglycoside.

This to will pass.

This to will pass, just like a kidney stone.

Poor planning

Poor planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine.

Insulin needles

For your grandma. YEAH RIGHT!
Your such a nice grandson, you always pick up her insulin needles.

Morphine

Morphine was first isolated by Friedrich Wilhelm Serturner in 1805. Sert├╝rner named his discovery after Morpheus, the Greek god of dreams.

This may make you a little bit drowsy.